writer. poet.
PORTFOLIO.
CLOUD OSSUARY
January 7th, 2022
"Several years ago, my daughter, Katarina Knehans, who is a professional writer, showed me a text she wrote, which is kind of a longish free-style poetic story full of tremendous imagery and dreamlike scenarios around the theme of death, decay and rebirth. Once I saw this tremendous text, I knew I had to set it for soprano and orchestra. The other two movements of this symphony grew as a prelude to the longer lasting movement in which the soprano Judith Weusten acts as a soloist singing the text my daughter wrote." (BRNODaily)
BONES
AND
ALL
the piece that inspired Cloud Ossuary
I tend to the land grief It started as barren and broken waste, So I watered it. The water and salt of tears only grew grass, wild and unruly, not quite living. On the precipice of this waste were trees; tall, dark and looming. They sent you. You were a sparrow, fragile and small You came wrapped in barbed wire and grime cloaked in scent of ruin. I untethered you, stitched up your wounds with blood soaked fingers, and fattened you up then returned you to the wood. The world had not been kind to you, I thought this would be enough. The grass sprouted flowers, blooming with vengeance, and in them found another. The rotting carcass, burnt and branded by the world, its flesh, ripped from its bones held together by mere strings of muscle. I imagine you alive, sturdy, clever and striped. Wearing your bandit mask properly—not skewed as it is now—playing a violin. I reconstruct you, slowly, heart first, on woven blankets from grass. I cover your torn body with flowers. I tuck your legs, hiding your shattered feet, hiding your ripped neck, laying your head down. You look almost asleep but I know this is never enough. I have buried so many in this wasteland; Each one stays frozen in place, exactly where I left them. Later they come for me, gathered in the rainforest of my mind we sit together eating tropical fruits, shrouded by sunlight, a greenish-golden glow bouncing off my skin and refracting off their exposed bones. They cannot be touched here, things are clean, soft. We are loved by the sun, bones and all.
_
EARTH REQUIEM
I. Atrophy / Introit
Do muscles atrophy in silence or
does every cell, during its
disintegration, shriek in pain?
Requiem aeternam dona eis, DomineEternal rest grant unto them, O Lord
does every cell, during its
disintegration, shriek in pain?
Requiem aeternam dona eis, DomineEterna rest grant unto them, O Lord
Et lux perpetua luceat eisAnd let perpetual light shine upon them
If we are torn beyond repair was it
ever on us or predetermined?
Requiem aeternam dona eis, DomineEterna rest grant unto them, O Lord
Et lux perpetua luceat eisAnd let perpetual light shine upon them
Requiescant in paceMay they rest in peace
If we are torn beyond repair was it
ever on us or predetermined?
It was us
It was us
It was us
II. Kyrie / My Enemy
Kyrie eleisonLord have mercy
Kyrie eleisonLord have mercy
Kyrie eleisonLord have mercy
The enemy of my enemy of my enemy
is me
Christe eleisonChrist have mercy
Christe eleisonChrist have mercy
Christe eleisonChrist have mercy
The enemy of my enemy of my enemy
is me,
The twisted roots of trees cannot
convey the agony.
Kyrie eleisonLord have mercy
Christe eleisonChrist have mercy
The twisted roots of trees cannot
convey the agony.
Only when the locusts pick at the soft
flesh of our eyes and the insides of
our cheeks will we understand
anguish.
Kyrie eleisonLord have mercy
Christe eleisonChrist have mercy
The enemy of my enemy of my enemy
is me.
Kyrie eleisonLord have mercy
Christe eleisonChrist have mercy
III. Dies Irae / Tilled Soil
Dies irae, dies illaThe day of wrath, that day
Solvet saeclum in favillaWill dissolve the world in ashes
Teste David cum SibyllaDavid being witness along with the Sibyl
Quantus tremor est futurusHow great will be the quaking
Quando Judex est venturuswhen the Judge is about to come
Cuncta stricte discussurus!Strictly investigating all things!
I’ll rot away from you in tilled soil,
out in the basking sun
Dies irae, dies illaThe day of wrath, that day
Solvet saeclum in favillaWill dissolve the world in ashes
Teste David cum SibyllaDavid being witness along with the Sibyl
Mors stupebit et natura,Death and nature will marvel
Cum resurget creatura,when the creature will rise again
Judicanti responsura.to respond to the Judge.
I’ll rot away from you in tilled soil,
out in the basking sun
unable to stomach the marrow
from your jaw
Dies irae, dies illaThe day of wrath, that day
Solvet saeclum in favillaWill dissolve the world in ashes
Teste David cum SibyllaDavid being witness along with the Sibyl
Liber scriptus proferetur,The written book will be brought forth
In quo totum continetur,in which all is contained
Unde mundus judicetur.from which the world will be judged
Rex tremendae majestatis,King of fearsome majesty,
Qui salvandos salvas gratis,Who gladly saves those fit to be saved,
Salva me, fons pietatissave me, O font of mercy.
I’ll rot away from you in tilled soil
out in the basking sun
Unable to stomach the marrow
from your jaw
Then you will realize loyalty means
little when blood touches the
tongue and tastes sweet
IV. I am mother / Libera me
Forgive me, for I am mother,
I allow myself to be sliced open dutifully
Libera me, Domine, de morte aeterna, Deliver me, O Lord, from death eternal
in die illa tremendaon that fearful day
Forgive me, for I am mother,
I allow myself to be sliced open dutifully
Libera me, Domine, de morte aeterna, Deliver me, O Lord, from death eternal
in die illa tremendaon that fearful day
Quando coeli movendi sunt et terraWhen heavens and earth
shall be moved
Forgive me, for I am mother,
I allow myself to be sliced open dutifully
Proclaiming my own sacrifice, but
not asked to consider the cost
Libera me, Domine, de morte aeterna, Deliver me, O Lord, from death eternal
in die illa tremendaon that fearful day
Dum veneris iudicareWhen thou shalt come to judge
Saeculum per ignemthe Earth by fire
V. No soil fit to raise them
My children will never know me,
They will stay forever seeds, spat
out of my acidic mouth –
for no soil would be fit to raise them
VI. The first pure sun / Sanctus
Once everything is overrun, and the
trees have had their fill, the first
pure sun will rise and welcome her
only children.
Sanctus, sanctus, sanctus Holy, holy, holy
Pleni sunt caeli et terra Gloria maiestatis tuaeHeaven and earth are full of thy glory
Once everything is overrun, and the
trees have had their fill, the first
pure sun will rise and welcome her
only children.
__________________________________________________________
VII. Lux aeterna / Silence of the Broken
Lux aeterna luceat eis, DomineMay light eternal shine upon them, Lord
The first pure sun will rise
And welcome her only children
Lux aeterna luceat eis, DomineMay light eternal shine upon them, Lord
Requiem aeternam dona eis, DomineEternal rest give to them, O Lord
We will not be there to see it
Take me back to the womb I never knew.
Present me the opportunity
To repair the emptiness.
Oh! Revel!
Revel in the silence,
The silence of the broken.
_
WELCOME MAT
The night i saw you
I scrubbed my womanhood with rocks.
I moisturized the open wound with lemon juice and salt.
I let the skin burn and rot.
I skinned the flesh of my back, and sent it to you.
A welcome mat.
Out of all the parts i never want touched anymore.